My family has never been one that is openly affectionate. We never give one another hugs, or words of encouragment (unless its said with a tinge of humour), because we are shy like that. I've always wondered how other families do it. How do they open themselves up to their parents and siblings, how do they go to them at the end of the rough day and let out everything that's troubling them. We were always quiet and reserved, except for moments where we celebrate our 'firsts', like graduating, or my brother leaving for army. My mom will always be the one telling us about her day, but with the crazy work hours, I barely even see them anymore. Its a good thing Mother's Day falls on a Sunday though. Leaves no excuses for you to not spend the day with Her.
We visited our grandma on Sunday evening after receiving some bad news. All I can hope for is for there to be less pain when the time comes, or when it eventually comes. After working progressively late that week (1am on Mon, 2am on Tues, 3am on Wed, 4am on Thurs, OH THE HORROR), I had no plans at all on Sunday. Was so lazy and tired that I did not even get out off the house to buy flowers, which is the least I would do. My poor mom spent the whole day preparing and cooking for my dad's side, and I could tell she was disappointed that we made no plans to have a special dinner at least.
I was already thinking of having dinner on Tuesday, Vesak Day, but I
couldn't, was too shy/awkward, couldn't think of a better way to tell her without feeling embarrassed that we were going to let the day pass without doing anything. But I knew she was disappointed, and I wanted to make her night happier, earlier. So I grabbed an angbao, slotted a note inside, brought it to her, told her to open while laughing sheepishly (family motto: our sincerity is shown through giggles and laughters) and suggested having dinner on Tuesday instead. In just a split second, her face lit up, and I couldn't have felt any happier. I know some of you will think that it's absurd it took so much effort to just ask her out for dinner, but that's just how my family is. Everyone knows I'm reserved, but I'm actually more outgoing than my members already?? When it comes to expressing feelings that is. Well anyway, my mom hugged me, and I was so happy that I teared. I couldn't look her straight in the eyes, though I really wanted to see if she was tearing too. Hehehe.
There are many things that I bottle up inside. But most of all, I really just want to tell my parents how much I love them. When the next special occasion comes, I WILL make the effort to make their day special, to make them feel loved :)